I have always believed that the Lord leads us to certain people. Sometimes it may be so that we can help and/or teach this person. Or perhaps it may be this person has something to teach you. At times it may even be both.
I also feel that with some relationships there comes a point when, once you have learned all that you can from each other, it is best to move on. But how do you know if it is one of those times? I don’t usually have a hard time ending a friendship when needed. I learned a long time ago, and in a very hard way, that if someone is affecting my spirit or life in a poor manner then to just walk away (ok I haven’t mastered this with the fella’s but whatever!). I do however have a hard time figuring out when you are supposed to end the relationship.
Where do you draw the line with loyalty or compassion when it comes to a friend? What if being friends with this person has made you not really like who you are because, even though you know you have no right to, you keep passing judgment rather than continuing to be compassionate?
If you feel like her decisions are affecting the way you feel and bringing you down is it ok to walk away? Even if you are literally the only friend this person has in her life that she can talk to? Or, since you feel, with all that you are inside, that it isn’t fair to leave someone out in the cold with a broken heart, do you stick it out and try to just be more empathetic?
Opinions anyone?
6 comments:
I don't know, I guess you can be compassionate to a point, but if it's really affecting you so much, then you just need to say, "Screw'em". ha
Compassionate, yes. Martyr, no. Draw the line.
Oh SO hard. I so understand how it makes you feel like a terrible person when you just want to smack them. IMO, you have two choices other than walking away. Tell her how you feel - that she is driving you up a wall, you don't even want to come home, you can't stand the choices she is making, that it is seriously making you wonder if you can be her friend... and let her figure out what to do with that, or just REALLY back away and be compassionate and VERY distant. "I'm so sorry you are going through this. Bye." and just be really busy with other stuff/people or something. I don't know if I could swing that, but it seems like it could work.
Actually, maybe don't let her figure out what to do with it by herself. What would acceptable options be that you could deal with? ..And then present them to her.
It's hard. On one side you've been great friends-no matter what has happened. But seriously where do you draw the line? Talk to her. Let her know what is bothering you, she may not agree or listen or she may make excuses but you need to put your feelings out there just as she has. You have listened to her through a lot, she needs to be that friend back to you and listen to your concerns. she may not like what you have to say but deep down I'm sure your opinion matters to her. But on the other side, if this is bothering you that much and affecting you in a way you don't want it to then you might want to consider staying away. You can still talk to her when you see her or whatever but I like Natalie's idea of just being really busy with other things and people. Either way you may have to talk to her about things if you don't it'll just keep building up in you. Anyway, not sure if any of that made sense LOL or if it came across how I wanted it to LOL So I'll talk to you in person sometime and see how you're doing :)
As usual, I have no idea what to tell you. My only advice is to make a decision and take it to the Lord. If He wants you to be compassionate and be there, He'll let you know and will provide a way. If you are to walk away, you will know and He will give you the stregnth to make it happen. I know this all sounds so sunday school lesson, but if you are worried about what He would have you do, you have to ask!
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